I want to just offer everyone my own and biggest manifestation and its beauty…how the universe taught me so much more than just manifestation through manifestation. This is long and I hope you find hope in the mix of the suffering I know it will be good for me to just try to express.
Not sure I accidentally posted twice and it’s so long I didn’t even get to check it a ton so use context clues lol or ask me.
PS- Hiring writings and editors for my business for part-time but potentially full-time work and can be remote. We just need to mix well.
Let me just take a breath and center, I’m not a great writer like Jina but progress. 
Jina has to be so annoyingly good at writing LOL pfft
So let’s backtrack one year. One year ago I was in Prison, not just the mind matrix prison of the earth that most live in these days but real physical prison. Let me show you what I saw in terms of miracles and who seemed to receive them and who didn’t. I ended up in prison from prescription painkillers (Oxycodone, Fentanyl, heroin, and all those wonder drugs), see I love to feel good, and to be given such an addictive substance so early wasn’t really fair and seemed fairly karmic because I never sought them I was in legit pain and trusted others who just don’t know. So addictions, deaths, jails, prison, long hospital stays, and more is what 10 years were like. Somehow I managed to not die and I also had some very very profound experiences through the suffering. Like the beautiful images presented to me from the universe of what is if I am willing to be it. How great I am and how good I am. I through it all just forgot, I forgot where I came from, and just how beautiful I was. I had so many teachers appear in many forms and angels in even more. I truly understand the concept of angels appearing in the form of human and even our ability to be an angel and a true power of God. I studied so many mystical texts. I devoured the whole prison library and my mom’s amazon algorithm. I only had glimpses of Neville of when someone word sources them in the new thought stuff. I was really studying the same esoteric stuff Neville was and I had a different teacher and lots of time with them…meditation and my higher self. lol, I was in so much pain when I first got to prison. Alone and as broken on every level I can feel before I die. I realize I am so much more resilient and persistent than I knew. I would hear a voice tell me when I would get up and look at the ugly prison boots but it would say “(Group member´s name), yes sometimes we do just have to put the damn boots on and keep walking”. As the pain started to clear in phases and I was only willing to unlock certain pain when I knew I was ready to transmute the pain. I learned lots of meditation and alchemy and just how to go inward. As the Kaballah teaches that this external world is the world of question and in the world of questions only questions are found. Even answers will be more questions. The inner world is the world of answers and you find them there. Lots of my drug experiences taught me quickly and earlier about vibration and how drugs and the illusions of feeling good literally create good experiences but the problem with the chemical route to a state is that it requires the chemical and the body will rebound with an equal and opposite state. Yes, psychedelics are helpful for healing and seeing the illusion of the world. I learned how drugs also split you in half how my opioid abuse literally split my head from my heart and I was in what most people on the planet are in and that’s what I call heart/head separation. They are meant to be together and to love each other but we force them apart and run from the heart. God guys if I could just tell you to open the heart and to look at those demons and experiences head-on and see them for what they are and release the pain and release your trapped consciousness.
Anyway back to prison- I ended up with a 5 years sentence. I turned a 3-year unsupervised probation sentence into a 5-year sentence with a 3-year tail without even committing more felonies. That’s how I know I am magic lol. just to give you some background I am the toughest criminal ever…I stole money from my family. I wasn’t even brave enough to steal from a stranger. The thing is I am not a criminal, I am a rebel for sure and will commit crimes but it’s definitely not in a systemic thinking way. In Colorado, I was given a 3-year tail on parole.
In prison, I was about 2 years into my sentence and that’s closet being able to see parole. I was so mad at the universe or not made but just sad at what I created and failed to escape. They messed up and sent me to a year in prison treatment. So when I saw parole they paroled me but said after the program so it’s really just getting a year setback because they get 35K extra for everybody in a bed in the program. I was disappointed because I was denied the halfway house and all these steps along the way. Then I was meditating and something said “(Group member´s name), maybe just maybe this is the fastest way free and things are unfolding the way they need to,” I said ok universe I will be brave. Let’s keep walking. I kept telling my cellmate I had this strange knowingness- like I know I am done here. I have finished this karmic cycle and he was a cynic and likes “facts” but I would persist and his negativity charged me. I learned alchemy and using things as fuel. I would talk to my mom daily about this and she would watch me be tormented but the what if and why my heart was so out of alignment with my mind but in hindsight I see that god or the universe was using every damn thing around me to help me grow. I was pissed at the lessons sometimes because they did hurt. They did and I don’t mean to live in the suffering but it’s a place I am glad to have moved on from. I learned a serious and badass ability to meditate and leave my body. I would have these experiences that holy cow. They were different than Neville because my foundation and imagery are different the universe didn’t have the ability to teach me through the initiative stories of the bible. I was learning from lots of wild texts though and the universe kept showing me truths or the truths my soul truly desires. I would get this ZING and my eyes would even water but it wasn’t like a cry it was like “TRUTH TRUTH” so much emotion coming out from the spiritual energy flowing down the planes that my body can only release it through tears. So Anyway the struggle was real and how does one live in the end while in total hell? How do you go and tell someone that has been through and is still in so much pain how the world seems to really work and that they can heal
So my manifestation? I started being a little brave in prison and experiencing what it would feel like to heal, to be free, to have a dog, to fix my old SP problem, to be done with paper, to finish launching my app, to wake up to my true self? Honestly, I was most scared to embrace a future of a healed SP and me because of so much pain. I didn’t ever think we could speak again. Well with practice and plus because I feel SO DEEPLY I was able to literally live in the experience for times and holy wow. The experiences guys…How the world works is far different than it appears. I started to have to learn acceptance for what is…like saying this feels great and maybe it won’t happen but I accept all possibilities and know that if I am being delusional it sure feels good and feel right. That intuition kept zinging. I didn’t like most manifestors because most of the stuff that he said was just too simple like a feather or something which I have a different opinion now but those things while in prison or like my dad when he died he was hurting so bad he could have never manifested his way out and honestly I don’t believe he was supposed to. I had to find the things I did believe at the time how I could begin to move the center of the belief inch by inch. I know living from the end but for me, I had to believe it’s possible to feel anything but the anxiety of what if it doesn’t happen…I will just be hurt again. Something pushed through me guys like this strength I began to feel. Like something so wonderful and powerful would fill me at times and I could persist. When you have to find 40$ from literally nothing to get well you learn persistence and honestly a strength although misdirected. You know, I’m not trying to talk myself up I am only trying to show you the qualities I found admirable in myself when my ego said nothing was admirable. The truth is there is no way for me to not be amazing because this truly is just a play and more ways for the infinite to express love. With death and darkness comes purpose and a whole new way to show love through things like giving off a non-infinite self? What shows more love than that? I mean hell it’s one thing when we are loving and rainbows and light when it’s easy and infinite but what about if you only believe you have one life? Like my wonderful mom sacrificing so much of her life for me and she doesn’t know what comes after death.
It’s just darkness creates so much beauty after the experience usually lol. Ok ok, this is where my mind is just a traveler and It’s hard to stay right on track. So I was going through it in prison, I would spend a minimum of an hour or two a day in the shower to just let the water heal me, to find space from others because of how horrible and heavy the negative energy was through the place. The little gifts of god, I happened to be put right in the hall with a new shower separate and a ceiling waterfall(hah no prison is not this nice normally was in a kill fence sterling prison) It was nuts to see that in prison but it made me cry. God knows how important water and showers are to me and out of all the 20K people I get the one in colorado that is amazing and new and only share it with a few guys all mine. I don’t know why but water mater my mind and mediation so much more connected. I was setback by parole and it looked like I would not go for another year but like I said my stupid genius and beautiful heart had new information for me but the difference between this info and my ego-mind info they didn’t agree and the war of god and the devil was raging inside me. I was like it’s ok I WILL STAY HERE god just help me to turn this into peace. Ughh how did I turn such an intense desire and fear into peace? I had to accept what is and I had to recognize that NO MATTER WHAT, I am capable and I am wonderful and so brave and why is that because people I am. So as a prison was happening and even before parole, I need to mention drugs. Prison has drugs usually being brought in burritos by guards who don’t make enough for the job they do. I was first in a medium-security in Colorado Springs that was a private GEO prison and that was total hell. No grass or nature and only fake lights shoved into a hallway with 140 angry, hurt, and just afraid men. Drugs and fighting and rape. Those happen daily. SO I was beginning to master my mind through my suffering. Every phase- I remember crying to see the moon because they never let you out at night. God, I love the moon and stars so much. Honestly, there are so many beautiful experiences and it usually was just me and god, and of course, mom was a savior. I think I only ever really learn from women. It’s funny because many men in prison or people doing drugs are very much of the feminine energetic disposition like me, I love doing guys stuff but my inner self is definitely not of the society. As I really healed and look down the barrel of fear things changed because this fire came from inside and consumed me from the inside out. So last year I saw parole on this day, I was like maybe ill get my luck, and plus in prison you only get green. My heart knew that my requests to just be paroled wasn’t going to happen that way, I just sensed it but my deeper heart still had a feeling of freedom. Anyway, it was still disappointing when he said “Paroled on completion of TC the program” My mom was so sad for me but I learned how to walk it off. I went back and prayed and said ok God, I suppose it was all delusion but please just help me to unify myself. I said “I know I can do it, god, I know it I can do this but I don’t think I can without some help. I needed the father at that time I needed a dad or grandpa to tell me to guide me but no one was there. Then I’m laying there saying I am trying to be brave but I feel so unsure and still hurt. something spoke to me and said just wait Alex something wonderful is coming. COVID. I was in TC and then they started to lock stuff down first in prisons. I was like god “if I get out of prison because of covid, I will laugh and cry so hard because who on earth thinks that god will cause a pandemic to save them lol…no no would never want someone else to suffer for me to win. I am a super healthy 34-year-old guy I didn’t fit the profile of release my mom had a burning intuition online and sent an email to this inmate rights group about me. Literally, no sooner than 2 days later they knocked on my door and said Jones, sign your papers yours gone.
I literally exploded and started gaging lol. I gag easily when I get super intense emotions. Everyone in my hall said,” HOW DID YOU KNOW?”
Like I was so happy not just for the freedom but more for the gift that the heart knew and I was guided. haha, I even had covid bahaha and took tons of fever reducers to make sure it stayed under the level so I didn’t get quarantined and lose my spot. Out of 20,000 prisoners…I was one of 290 people leaving and I was over a year away. My mom’s email got straight to the head of parole. I mean you guys see the magic right? The moving parts happening the whole time I was in my tiny cell except I never was trapped. I was freer than had ever been and then…look what happens? the external adjust itself to match me. It gets better though…..I had a three-year tail and that’s scary because if I relapsed or did something I can get an aggravated charged or just go back to prison. It was so funny because for 4 days I battled the devilish ego for while thinking they were going to take it all away. GOd those days were so and because we were on lockdown until I left…no phone calls. EVERY SECOND OF PRISON WAS LEARNING TO MASTER THIS STUFF or for me suffer.
My parole officer showed up last month. Said XYZ (Group member´s name) you’re done. I literally shit myself. I even thought she was here to arrest me. I walked away and just collapsed because something I struggled for 11 years to master was over and now a tool for love. My company is about to launch its awesome app for charities and nonprofits. We are doing tons of events for the local community. MY SP? Well, we’re talking again and have healed things I never thought we would. She is healing in her own way and time and that’s oK! I want her highest good and yours and jeez I hope that’s with me but I know I have ad many lifetimes with her and based on my love and near codependence, to certain women I knew it has been a lesson in being apart from someone you literally love truly unconditionally and intensely. My soul talks to her all the time. Call me nuts go ahead. Things are not what they seem. My SP is coming back or actually has she is just pissed at me which to be honest it feels so good for her to express some truth. I know she hates having me the nuts guy that she loved deeply and hurt her be the guy that is now understanding and what she always saw in me.
Her manifestation happened and she doesn’t quite see it yet. I mean I see it, my brain or soul has a gift of seeing the unseen and sensing patterns of higher orders. I see how she and I are healing and how this return loop has happened and now no matter what I’ve been as far from her and myself that I need to be. This manifestation has driven me and fueled me more than anything but I have had to check my motives with her constantly and continue to let it be. DONT GET INVOLVED….DONT LET MY SCIENTIST EGO LEFT BRAINED MIND TAKE ANY ACTION LOL. My angels constantly and saying slow down and wait. God, I don’t like that message. With the SP, it helps a lot to know it’s OK no matter what. I know she loves me even if I have to wait until my next life to be like come one! You really know how to pile on after 15 lifetimes of this crap. HAHA JK I just mean I love her so intensely it was scary for me I had to release it to allow it to unfold. She and I are like complete opposites but of the same defiant and stubborn energy or source like weird siblings or something but it is an intensity I am actually mad I have experienced because it changed me si I saw the Taoist view in the relationship and saw how my fear in me is her fear too and to get to a new point one of us as to stop pushing up against another.
I didn’t even think id be free yet by now but the trick was already free I just hadn’t noticed yet. What I have now? the strength to walk through anything, total love from even what society calls vile, love for myself, a link to the universe, faith, power(real power). My ego-self will never ever ever be able to accomplish these things. I am smart and it doesn’t work Drugs and suffering are too heavy to escape without intervention by something into your self-concept like for me ended with running down the street in some visions of the apocalypse and then me having a gun to my head, the angels right next to me, and me going to prison to step into my fate. If anyone doesn’t believe in some fate I promise you’re insane. There are limits we have chosen to have here and usually, those have been reinforced by the planet earth. The universe told me a thing about certain people and karma, it might not happen at the exact minute or time we planned but it will happen. We have a created purpose, we have a created experience, and we are free to keep running but there are no straight lines all lines curve like all of the space….EVERYTHING WILL LEAD BACK HOME With her I have to be braver than I was ever ready to be and if I want to be with her? Be that man now! Be the good man that you are trust god and honor her requests even when they hurt and don’t throw tantrums. I am also sober and have a granite foundation these days no more sand. People are amazed and don’t even believe it. Once ..again against all odds, it did get better. it took a bit of time to begin to heal but I asked God for this and he granted I but to get to my best self I have to leave my least self behind. I couldn’t fix this in 10 years but god did it in 2 and also made me better than I was before the chaos.
I don’t condone any harm I caused and it’s w\one thing I am still healing in myself.
DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT THINGS DONT CHANGE AN THAT LOVE OR SOMETHING WILL NOT FIND YOU.
Jeez, you start to remember the amazing things too. Like when some kind woman brought in avengers’ end game when we were locked up. Gratitude guys! it starts to shift your whole being. I can’t explain it but that feeling I would send off to the universe just my heart saying “thank you in a way that only your beautiful heart knows how to communicate to the universe.
So the feather thing, the angel numbers, and more. I decided a while back after studying lots of things and many modern concepts especially new thought just gets twisted into things I don’t align with. I am not going to find my connection to my one true self to only worry about a new car. Although that’s happened too. It was no joke yesterday talking to the angels in meditation saying the feather thing is just too common I need some more signs…My new puppy MAYA( the goddess of illusion) a dog I saw in my dreams in prison. She chewed the corner of my pillow as I slept and I no joke…Woke to feathers EVERYWHERE.
…god one year later it’s all over and I was just hoping to be out of prison by now…not totally free and full of love. Anyway, I am looking for like-minded friends. Who also are willing to be brave and to walk through to their light again. Out of the f hundreds of books and practices I learned, I would love friends. Plus I’m launching my Charity app/Website thing and will always love like-minded people to use it!